THINK BEFORE YOU COSPLAY
On Earth Day, I feel it’s important to note a class of people who so far have gotten a complete pass in their complicity in destroying our environment. Everyone finds them oh-so-bemusing with their top hats and leather trench coats. And no one asks the question…
WHERE DOES ALL THAT STEAM COME FROM?
Yes, I’m talking, of course, about steampunk cosplayers. This “subculture” purports to enact a fantastical blending of the late 19th century with elements of science fiction and fantasy. But from what did 19th century steam-driven machinery derive its power? Coal. Coal fires generated the heat that turned water into steam and drove the engines of the Victorian economy.
So when these jauntily-dressed nerds activate their brass and chrome steam-powered jetpacks, they are in fact pumping huge amounts of greenhouse gases into the atmosphere. Recent studies have shown that a full 90% of greenhouse gases come from steampunk cosplayers. 90%! You find that hard to believe? Look at the evidence. Steampunk culture came into prominence in the 1980s and 1990s. And since 1980, temperatures have risen dramatically, all so these people can play dress-up.
The following is a list of the “clever” and “fanciful” devices that make up that increase:
- Steampunk umbrellas - 2%
- Steampunk jalopies - 36%
- Automatic steampunk top hat-tippers - 0.015%
- Steampunk ray guns - 23%
- Steampunk computer casemods - 18%
- Steampunk jetpacks - 12%
- Various other steampunk bullshit - 8.985%
So when you you celebrate Earth Day, ask yourself if you’ve done all you can do.
Have you punched a steampunk cosplayer in his stupid be-goggled face today?
